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When I first lost you, I wondered if over time, I’d start to forget you. With each year that passes without you being in my physical life, the memories change. They don’t fade exactly, like photographs would, but they shift in the album of my mind.

I did a big clean out my closet this year. It’s the “in thing” people are doing these days. Konmari, or “sparking joy” is what it’s called. I knew you would be alright if I gave some of your old clothes away to people who were in need of them. I had some of them for over 17 years; since the autumn after you passed away. You were a teenager when you last wore them. I thanked the clothes for their service. I thanked them for the memories they gave me of you. I said “goodbye” to each piece, and I said “goodbye” again to a part of you.

It’s been an especially cold winter up here in Potsdam, NY, so I thought they would help keep someone warm and that would make you very happy. I kept a sweater of yours that I still wear when I need to wrap myself up in a part of you. I would swear I could still smell you when I wear it even though I’m sure it’s impossible after all these years, and so many washes. You are ingrained in the fabric of my soul, my sweet Laura.

Today is your birthday, and I am grateful for all the birthdays we were able to share together here on Earth. I think of you every year when this day comes. You were the very definition of a GOOD person who lived a GOOD life. I know you and Lizzie are having quite the party of your own today somewhere far from here. I love you, my sweet girl. You’ll always be my oldest friend and I’ll always tell your story. Happy 38th Birthday.

Love,

Mandy