So I know I tend to write about the same themes on here, but heck, they say you write what you know & I feel I know a bit about friendship, love and loss. The loss is a bit harder to put the “good stuff” spin on, but I’ve dedicated most of my adulthood to learning how to turn lemons into lemonade so I’ll never stop trying. 

      So when a dear friend of mine who I had gotten to know in the fall recently started talking to me about a woman he had feelings for in the past, it became clear to me that things were not over between them and that maybe it was time they give it another go. After many conversations about this and a lot of back and forth about why it would “never work” on his part, he finally gave in and admitted that “yes”, she was very much still in his heart and her three year old daughter had wiggled her way into his heart and had imprinted herself pretty permanently there. 

   So after lots of discussions on how to appropriately “woo” her, and make a good impression on this gal, it was all I could do to not feel that “joy rising” I so frequently speak of and help him in his plot to “win back Sophie”. My friend is really a good man. He’s a got a great soul and his heart is about as big as they come. He and “Sophie” had history but he just couldn’t quite put together the pieces in his heart or mind on how to appropriately convey that he was ready to give it a go again. So tonight is the night. They are on a “proper date”. And I couldn’t be more proud of him and the care he took to plan it. He got them tickets to a concert of a favorite artist of both of theirs in Montreal, Canada and surprised her with champagne and a single pink rose picked out just like we talked about. He looked extremely handsome in his freshly pressed suit coat and when I last heard from him he was about as excited as a kid at Christmas as she was getting ready for the evening upstairs. 

     I can only hope this is the beginning of beautiful things for the two of them and that they both take a chance at love. Because really in the end, its love that will endure all things, hope all things and believe all things. Love is just that GOOD. 

   

    For as long as I’ve known my best friend Kym, she’s been trying to get me to take a trip with her. And I haven’t exactly refused…well ok. I have. Because let’s face it, I never considered myself someone with “great luck”. And when you watch movies about two best friends traveling abroad together, generally only one of them gets to come back alive or with their freedom. For some reason I felt like I was destined to be cast as “the dead best friend” in our movie of life. But then I gave traveling a shot by myself a little and got a little more comfortable with the idea and I also just had a talk with Karma and said, “look, really, there is no reason my luck can’t change and start shaping up. So whaddaya say?” And you know what?? Today I booked my flight to go to England to meet Kym for our friends Becky & Joe’s wedding in August and then we’re doing a side trip around Germany and Austria. And we’re both coming back alive and well!! Because sometimes you have to take chances. You have to know that if you jump, there will be someone or something there to catch you. And oftentimes that person is your best friend. 

    Kym has literally caught me since the beginning- San Diego 2004 . She was there for me when things got a little “dicey” shall we say with my roommates and I was in need of a friend to vent to, (I’ll admit I wasn’t the best friend back, & I actually went MIA on her for about a year and some change) and then when I reconnected with her, in 2006 it turned out, I needed heart surgery & she selflessly let my family spend the holidays in her beach front apartment so we could all be under the same roof and I could recuperate with them and not in a hotel while she was visiting family in Australia. Fast forward a year and Kym showed up in my hospital room once again looking like a bleach blonde pixie fresh after my car accident in 2007 to comfort me and rarely left my side for months after. We spent the next few years living pretty much a mere mile and a half away from each other when all was said and done and grew close as sisters. Occasionally fighting like sisters too, but always out of love. 

    Still I enforced the travel ban between us stronger than Trump’s. Mainly out of my own fear…much like Tru…anyway. I digress. And soon, Kym would move from San Diego up to Los Angeles in 2010 and I couldn’t have been happier for her. 

     I stayed longer than I should have out on the West Coast but felt the need to wrap it up rapidly coming and finally in 2013 once all my surgeries were completed I called it a day and packed it in and moved home to Upstate New York. After a very serious illness almost didn’t end well for me. Kym and her then boyfriend Simon were integral in moving me forward during that particular phase of my life and I simply would not be here without them and the love they showed me. Along with a few other friends of ours as well. 

    After I left CA, Kym did unthinkable tasks like brought all my remaining belongings to a storage facility and put what she thought I might want or might want to donate or just give away there so the next time it would be very easy for me to sort. That was the true mark of a friendship right there. 

    Now to have this trip to FINALLY BE ABLE TO GO AND JUST BE PARTNERS ON!!! It’s going to be everything we’ve been wanting to do for decades !! Just fun, no stress, no work…just sightsee and exploring. I can’t wait. Truly, taking chances and not being afraid to jump. Because this time we are both there to catch each other. That Is Just The Good Stuff. 

    So my great friend Nick sent me a rather curious text the other morning that said, “red, orange or green??” I thought about it for all of two seconds and as my eyes are green and I’ve always gravitated towards things that match them, I responded with “Green!! Always Green!!” 

    I then went about the rest of my day and didn’t give a whole lot more thought to the mysterious case of “red, orange or green”. But what I did do, was help my neighbor Anna with her twins and listen to them talk endlessly about “Thomas The Tank” which got me thinking about “The Little Engine That Could”. 

    Sometimes I think my inner monologue just becomes, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”…because it’s one of those phrases that if you say it enough, you start to believe it. I’m not saying I’m anything special or powerful but I will say I have the ability to endure. And sometimes people ask me, “where do you find the strength to keep going?” Honestly?? I just believe “if you think you can, you will and if you believe in your heart and soul you have the strength to move mountains, you are going to.” They say mothers have found the strength to move cars off of children in life or death situations. 

    There is something in us all called a “fight or flight” response. (Also known as “acute stress response”). It’s an animal instinct we perceive in highly stressful situations such as when our life is being threatened or if we are in an extreme amount of pain. The response is exactly what it sounds like, “run for your life” or “fight for your life”. It’s what I’m sure saved many more lives outside that Ariana Grande concert a few days ago in Manchester, England when there was a bomb that went off primarily targeting women and children. Times like that it can be hard to find the GOOD STUFF but I will never stop looking for it. I came across an article about two homeless men who absolutely acted on the stress of the situation and became inadvertent heroes as a result. https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/05/24/world/europe/homeless-hero-manchester.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&referer=http%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com

     They ran toward the commotion not away and helped all night. Comforting, making make-shift bandages, extracting nails when appropriate, and just being overall good citizens. 

     It is people like that who I have encountered in my own life who help me keep my mantra of “I think I can, I think I can” and make me believe in “The Greater Good”.

     Oh yeah, and Nick…well he brought me back a little green train Engine from his trip to Washington DC. He said, it was because, like a train, I just “never stop going”. He might have been referencing my ability to talk most people under the table, but either way, I loved it & immediately snatched it from his hands. It’s green and it’s GOOD & it’s mine! 

 I started this blog to put my bit of “good stuff” into the World, but that didn’t mean it always had to be super meaningful, mind bending posts about current events or even posts with a whole lot of substance in them. So I decided that today was not going to be a particularly thoughtful or philosophical post. But more one where I just indulge myself. Indulgence is good for the soul in moderation and it’s been a while since I’ve really properly done it. 

  One way I indulge myself at home when I have some free time and am just feeling the urge to cuddle up and not do anything constructive is to watch videos on YouTube. 

    I could do this endlessly & have many different categories of “go-to’s”. I’m not really a classic cat video-type of gal, but like a lot of people I enjoy watching clips from Late Night Shows. 

    The Jimmy’s, James, Colbert, Sam Bee, Seth and John Oliver are some of my faves. How anyone could only watch one Carpool Karaoke is beyond me!! James Cordon really hit it out of the park with that one. https://youtu.be/AFxCO_DyzYM Also, between “The Roots” on “The Tonight Show” & Jon Batiste on “The Late Show”, Late Night music has never been better. 

   Then there are the pop ballad videos. I prefer to watch obscure artists cover ’80’s & ’90’s pop ballads rather than the original artists. Some of my favorites are “Rexford Official’s” cover of Pat Benatar’s “We Belong”. https://youtu.be/c087LvP_fao I also LOVE Whitney Houston’s classic “How Will I Know” covered by “Electric Blonde & Lynzie Kent”. The percussionist who plays with a tub and a beer bottle is unreal!! https://youtu.be/nvvpGS_gr7U

   My next category of indulgent entertainment is ballet videos. This one is a double edge sword. I will watch endless videos of the Bolshoi Ballet dancing Don Quixote or Sleeping Beauty (& have been fortunate enough to see them live as well), but I could relive the wonderment of this art form every day. https://youtu.be/YgRRCgjDLT4 Simply put, no one does ballet quite like the Bolshoi. 

   I also love watching more contemporary dance duets (or sometimes solos) to modern music and just melt when the dancers are really in sync with each other. This clip of dancers DJ Smart and Zola Williams dancing to a cover of Adele’s “All I Ask” is just breathtaking & I love how fluid their movements are. The choreography is by Will B. Bell https://youtu.be/A4kXbBHSA9w Sergei Polunin dancing to Hozier’s “Take Me To Church” is one of the most moving things I’ve seen in a long time. The depths he sinks to and heights he climbs in this piece are beyond chilling. https://youtu.be/c-tW0CkvdDI

    I could go on and on about all the other things that bring me happiness & delight when I just want a distraction for a few hours (like puppies making babies laugh)…my twin neighbors LOVE those videos & sometimes we watch them during lunch if we need motivation to finish getting through the meal. Because let’s face it (NOTHING is funnier than a puppy making a baby laugh). https://youtu.be/ZAmZucyzyZM But I digress. I hope you all have your things that make you feel silly & indulgent. Don’t get me wrong, I also love to read, watch movies, take walks, and am enjoying playing around with photography too, but this is just one of the many things I can add to my list of just plain old “GOOD STUFF”. And that’s what it’s really all about anyway right? Just The Good Stuff. 

    Today I got some sad news. A woman I respected and thought very highly of and who always made me laugh when we would run into each other in between blood draws at the hospital had passed away after a long, hard battle with cancer. Dr. Reames was a classy woman through and through and always had a kind word and a warm smile when you saw her. She was quite a funny lady too. To say she will be missed doesn’t touch the surface. 

    So when I told my friend Zac about her passing today, he of course gave me his condolences but then asked me what I was going to do to cheer myself up after hearing such sad news. I thought about it for a brief minute and responded with, “I guess I’ll go see one of my Mom friends and play with some babies”. Because truly there is nothing that puts a smile on my face like baby cuddles or laughs. I had the day pretty clear as I had a doctors appointment this am to begin with so after it, I called my friend Karen who lives down the street and asked if she was around. She was and said to just come on over. Her son Mason is 15 months old and so loving. Don’t get me wrong, he likes to play, & play hard sometimes but he can cuddle with the best of them.

      So Karen, Mason and I set out on a day of errands. It was our last one that was truly magical. We stopped at a garden center and Mason was able to chase butterflies and play in the mud. He also found a tractor that captured his attention and just lit his twinkling blue eyes on fire. It was exactly what I needed for some good old fashioned “cheering up”. 

   I feel so lucky that I have so many Mom friends in my life with so many wonderful babies they are willing to constantly share with me. Anna has Sam and Sylvie, (the 2 and a half year old twins who live across the street) and I have known since they were in utero, Kate has Cameron (who is 6 years old, and baby Morgan, who is 2 months old). Janet has Nicholas, (who is 5), Julianna (who is 3) and William (who will be 1 in August) and I mentioned Karen & little Mason. I have MANY other wonderful Mom friends in my life as well who don’t live in my area but let me give my love from afar and I love each and all of you. 

   The thing about babies is they remind you that everything is new. It’s constantly changing and growing and they don’t know how to give anything but pure love. So today when the circle of life couldn’t have felt more real, it was nice to close it out with a big baby smooch and an open fist wave goodbye. I’m sending that same wave to you Dr. Reames. You were a REALLY GOOD woman. 

** I want to give a BIG SHOUT OUT to my friend Kara Friedman & her husband David & soon to be big brother Peyton on the announcement of her twin baby girls coming in September…no one does pregnancy like Kara & I can’t wait to see her put her spin on this one!!

   

     So I know I’ve talked about her before on here, but my dentist is amazing. And not in a “my dentist is better than your dentist” way…but in a, “she truly is a gift from above” way. 

    I first met Elaine when I was a junior in college and we were both cast in a production of the Vagina Monologues at SUNY Potsdam. At the time, I had no idea she was a dentist. Only that she was incredibly creative and very talented as an actress and performer and that she had a love for all things performing arts. Elaine and I (as well as all the other members of the cast) became very close as it was a very special experience being in that play together. We were trying to combat violence against women and telling these stories in the most meaningful way we knew how. Through art. 

    Fast forward about a decade later and Elaine and I would reunite on an evening that was certainly not one of my best. I had literally just gotten off the plane from California after moving home to New York and immediately went to her office. She promptly did a root canal on me right then and there at about 8:00pm at night. She was tender and so very compassionate. What Elaine had inherited in the 10 years since our last performance was truly a mouthful of nightmares. 

   I have touched several times on my car accident in past posts and even the loss of my smile, but what I don’t know that I’ve really explained is the dental trauma I endured in that accident. Lost and broken teeth as well as a fractured and rebuilt jaw and cheekbone were all part of the picture I painted for Elaine when I showed up on her doorstep. My jaw was wired shut for a total of about 8 weeks but the first two didn’t count as it soon became clear things weren’t lining up properly and everything would have to come out and be redone from scratch. I had screws and plates put in as well as bone graft to help stabilize things. “Dental Trauma” doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what was happening in my mouth. 

     So when I recently called Elaine and said, “help!! I’m having tooth pain, & it’s on the bottom right side” She said, “come on in, we’ll try to get you comfortable”. Two root canals later, I think we both thought (& hoped) that was it…but it turned out to just be the beginning. Two weeks later and probably 7 or 8 office visits, I just sobbed on her shoulder and truly realized how lucky I was when I was FINALLY feeling some relief and she said to me, “do you want to come sleep at my house?? I can just give you Novocain all night and we can keep you comfortable.” The thing is…SHE ABSOLUTELY WOULD HAVE LET ME DO THAT!! She is that special & that caring. The most important thing she said to me yesterday as we were doing all this was, “This could happen to ANYONE. This isn’t just YOU. Things like this just happen & they really stink when they do, but it’s nothing you did, & it’s not your special situation that made this happen, so don’t feel bad.” 

   She also reminded me how amazing my body is and how much it has gone through. She said, “Miranda, I don’t know anyone who could have endured what you did and had their body still be chugging along like yours is. It’s doing a great job. Keep reminding yourself of that.” So I repeated the phrase I love so much that John Mayer coined years ago, “Your body is a wonderland”. Because it most certainly is. And Elaine is my queen of hearts… and sometimes my mouth. 

     I have no doubt in my mind that Elaine was a fabulous actress of screen and stage in her past life and that her passions have now carried over into this one, but I for one am so grateful her talents in the field of medical dentistry were also gifted to her. She changes lives every day and has not only soothed my nerves but also helped to heal my soul. Thank you my dear friend for giving me the really GOOD STUFF. 

The way he holds her hand.

The way she smiles at him & blushes through sun kissed cheeks.

His heart speeds up.

Her heart skips a paced beat.

The newness.

A picturesque vacation scene in the mountains with lakes, trees & wildlife mirroring each other. 

Stealing a sweatshirt.

Borrowing chapstick.

Paying for pizza.

Swimming in a pool together.

Stumbling down sidewalks while walking the dog & ending up in unintentional headlocks. 

Silly smiles that are so cheesy they might melt pizza. 

The way she looks with curly hair and the way he actually prefers it on her. 

Taylor Swift, Zac Brown, & talk radio. 

Phone calls that last into the night. 

“Tell me everything” he says. 

“What do you want to know” she replies. “I’ll tell you anything”. 

Because when you’re actually 13, it might be foolish, silly, nonsense, but at our age, it’s the “getting to know you” GOOD STUFF. 

        

   Teachers are amazing people. The commitment they give not only to their work, but to their students who are ultimately a product of that work is really awe inspiring. I was speaking with my cousin the other day as both of our Mom’s are about to enter a new phase of their lives when they retire from teaching as college professors and we were reflecting on truly what amazing careers both women have had in their respective fields. 

     As Ali and I were talking and reflecting on how our Mother’s work is never really done, we were noticing how they always find a way of applying a life lesson to a situation and also that people tend to be drawn toward them as mentors, advisors, and friends. 

     Teachers possess a patience unlike anyone else. When you find one who you have that special bond with, it can be life changing. I’ve been fortunate to not only have some of the most wonderful instructors on my path to educational success but also on my journey to grow as a person as well. 

    It started with Mrs. Brady in Kindergarten with her “Be Kind and Work Hard” philosophy that I’ve touched on in previous posts on here before. Then there was Mrs. Fowler who helped me through one of the most difficult years of my life in school. Due to some pretty intense health challenges that year, Mrs. Fowler got me through the school year but also through life and would come to my house to do so. She was truly an angel with her warm smile and endless amounts of patience. Then in college there was Dr. Hall. We just bonded. We really understood each other in a special way that felt like we had known each other for a thousand lifetimes. She encouraged me to move to CA right after graduation. We kept in touch and she has to this day remained one of my most influential teachers to date. 

     Finally, Dr. Matt Brunson is probably the last teacher I had that really learned about life from. He wasn’t even technically MY teacher, although he was on staff at UCSD medical school as a “professor” so he was an actual “educator” of sorts, but I learned some real valuable life lessons from him. Like, “when the dust settles Miranda, the caged bird will always sing again.” And “if you don’t process the emotions at the gut stage, they will find a way to grow their way out. It might be through your skin, your hair, your sleep, or your relationship, but it WILL come out. Trauma is a powerful thing and needs to be dealt with and cut off at the root”.

     Man I could have saved myself years of expensive therapy bills if I had just listened to him early on. But things always work out how they’re supposed to. Matt passed away not long after his 51st birthday and I often think of him as I write these blog posts as he was really one of the first people to inspire me to write this. He believed I had a story worth telling and that maybe I could put a spin on it in a way where the bullshit wouldn’t rise to the top, but maybe the good stuff would instead. And so began my quest to tell stories and points of views with Just. The. Good. Stuff. 

     As graduations roll around and school years are coming to an end, take a few minutes and think about the people in your life (the family members, bosses, mentors) who have made a difference in your life. Who has made you a better person because of the lessons they’ve taught you over the years? Then maybe the next time you see them, remember to give them and extra pat on the back and a quick wink or a hug of “thanks” for the years of service. Because for all those teachers out there, you’re doing something far more valuable than you are ever recognized for. Thanks for all your GOOD WORK! We truly couldn’t do it without you. 
Congrats to my Mom, Carol “Kickie” Britt and my Aunt, Dr. Lillian Little on their retirement this year. The future holds many new, wonderful things for both of you, and we love you so very much! 

    Has your best friend ever saved your life? Mine has. It started back in 2001. Junior Year of college if we’re being honest. When she asked me to move in with her and her housemates. I’m not going to say that at that exact point in my life I was suffering from a life threatening illness, but definitely from a heart breaking loss. And when Melissa walked up to me and said, “We’re going on a friend date. Cantina. Monday night.” I knew my life would be forever changed. What I didn’t know was that 15+ years later she would LITERALLY save my life…again. 

Mel is nothing if not a “do-er”. She’s what many would call a “mover and shaker”. Quite frankly, she gets shit done. And when we had dinner a little over a week ago after not seeing each other for several months, she commented on my recent weight loss. It was a compliment, not a criticism, because to most people, I look like I’ve been doing Beach Body or WeightWatchers, or just taking my butt to the gym. But as I was dumping salt on my piece of pizza, I said, “I know it’s super weird huh??” And she responded with, “how so?” I replied about how I hadn’t done anything to lose weight and that it was kind of a mystery but I kept eating lots of pizza. (I have always been a big fan of the stuff. It’s kinda a food group in my book). 

    So she must have filed that info away. As our visit went on, I kept mentioning little things that perked up in Mel’s mind. And when I explained that the doctors also had no idea what was causing this phantom weight loss, my “mover and shaker” friend got on the job to diagnose the situation. Before she was even back to her apartment in NYC, she texted me and said, “It was wonderful to see you. Just so you know…your symptoms match up with this…You should have your doctor check you for it. I was looking it up and it sounds like what you were describing.” 

   So after she said that, I looked it up myself and OH MY GOD!! I had EVERYTHING ON THE LIST!! I saw the doctor two days later and he not only was HE blown away with how spot on she was, but he wanted to know where my friend went to Medical School?? I said, “Um, The Metropolitan Opera… School of Medicine I guess…hehehe”. He giggled. (He’s a very jolly man), and in fact it turns out that I DO have this condition. The best news is, it can be treated, but the most frightening part is, if it were to be left untreated it can lead to organ failure. So my best friend absolutely saved my life. She listened, she cared and she acted. It was the most incredible circumstance and I’m eternally grateful to her for it. We’ll call her #MelMD from now on. Because she’s just “THAT GOOD”. 

   Since I’ve moved home to Potsdam from California a few years ago, making friends, especially female ones has been a bit of a challenge. I’ve written several posts about this subject and how sometimes I long for the simpler days of elementary school when all one had to do to forge a friendship was simple stand in line with your class and ask the person in front of you if you wanted to be friends. Bonds were formed, friends were made and years long relationships that would stand the test of time were built out of a 4 word conversation. 

   So when I finally had a small group of women that I could meet with a share my birthday dinner 2 years in a row, I was ELATED. But as with everything in life, things change and people grow, jobs begin and end (sometimes in new places), and so do relationships. Sometimes it’s the “life stuff” that can bring us together and also move us apart. 

  Regardless it’s always hard to say goodbye. First there was Jenna. When she moved with her went the energy of a hummingbird. She was forever buzzing around and flying through life with such speed that if you blinked, you just might miss her. We had car dance parties and late night talks over bottomless glasses of wine and sometimes we would just sit on the couch and she would do work, I would read (code for sleep), but we would just “be”. And then she had to leave. It was time. It was very sad and very hard to say goodbye, but it was the right thing to do and we knew no matter what, we’d be ok. We’d always be friends. 

    Amy was another one of those women I celebrated my birthday with. She was actually my first female friend here in Potsdam when I moved home. I needed Amy and Amy needed a “Miranda” too, so we were perfect for each other. We had an easy friendship. Never any arguments or disagreements. We were both always between 9-12 minutes late to everything (& when you find your “person” who is literally on the same time clock as you…it is a BEAUTIFUL thing.) So we just fell into an easy rhythm. Life was nice and I had a great friend. She and Jenna knew each other too (our friend Janet made up our fourth) and we were a great little group of gals. But as life happens, not long after Jenna left, Amy found an opportunity in life that was calling to her too. And it was SO hard to say goodbye. But it was the right thing. It was supposed to be. So I was very happy for her.   

    And then this year, I have found Deb. Deb is a wonderful soul who has mermaid long hair and beautiful presence about her that just wraps you up when you meet her. She is truly one of my favorite people on this Earth. And we were not meant to live near each other long, but we were meant to be lifelong friends. And sometimes when you meet those people, it doesn’t matter how you meet them, or how long you physically live down the street from them, but really what imprint they leave on your soul. Deb graduated from PA school at Clarkson University on Saturday and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She’s going to be an incredible provider and even though she just moved 4 hours away to Rochester where she’ll be living and working someday, I know it’s an amazing opportunity for her and even though it’s SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE, sometimes it’s not just what is right, but it’s also what is GOOD. 
This is for all the friends I’ve had to say goodbye to at different times and places. Most notably Kym, Frances, Rox and Steve who took such amazing care of me as well as Jenna, Amy, and Deb.