Forgiveness is a virtue unto itself. There are whole passages of scripture devoted to the subject and books, upon books written on the matter. It’s a subject I do not pretend to be an expert in, but have dipped my toe into the pond of. To truly forgive someone who has done you wrong can be the most freeing, liberating thing you can do for yourself. To release the pain, fear, hurt and anger lingering in your heart is not only cathartic but empowering. There is no greater gift you can give to ones self than to forgive. Not just for the person seeking, but for the person whose forgiveness is being sought. 

    I was telling a new friend “my story” the other day. And as we got to the part about “what happened to the guy?” I simple said, “I had to let it go.” Because in the end that’s exactly what happened. Maybe not ultimately “to” him, but to my feeling toward him…I let them go. Years of anger, resentment and hurt had accumulated such negativity that it had started to disrupt every aspect of my life right down to the quality of my sleep. It wasn’t even just the matter of this one person who had hurt me one night when I was driving my car. 

     There have been others. That was just the catalyst in a chain of events that led to more hurt and more pain. I finally had to just get to a place where I realized the high road was always going to be the road I chose. It was always going to be the better path for me. It’s not always easy, but it’s somehow what I needed to do. My heart is lighter and my head is clearer as a result. Maybe I’m what some people might call a “Pollyanna”, but my glass is half full & my heart is as clear as the air I breathe. 

    I think of the Amish people who were so quick to forgive the man who murdered their loved ones in a Lancaster County, PA community a few years ago. They even attended his funeral. They asked that donations be directed towards his family rather than their own. They did this because it’s what their faith told them was right, but also because it was what was in their hearts. It lessened the burdened on them as love and compassion are their life’s theme. 

   Or the father of the one of the Santa Barbara Massacre victims who met with his son’s killer’s father and offered him forgiveness. The two are working together to help make a difference on gun laws for the mentally ill so that a similar situation doesn’t arise in the future. 

   Sometimes situations don’t have to be as intense as murder or violent crime though to lighten your load. If a roommate or a co-worker has done you wrong in the past, or if your ex has been hurtful and there is bitterness there. Sometimes just writing a letter, and putting it in the mail to a blank address can be helpful. You don’t actually have to send something to your person, but putting your thoughts down and just throwing them away can be healing. It’s the release that starts the process. 

    Or believe it or not, have a good scream. My strong ladies and I were talking yesterday about the catharsis we find in just yelling as loudly as possible. Sometimes in a small room, or even in your car when no one is around. Having a good wail on a back road can be SO GOOD FOR THE SOUL!! You really should try it if you haven’t yet. And at the end of the day, it’s all about mending the hurt. Healing the wound, closing the gap. You don’t have to forget your pain, but move past it. Put it on the shelf. And maybe just be ok with leaving it there. There are some things that are ok to just be done with and not go back to. They are not worth our energy and so we don’t give it to them. Only the good. ONLY THE GOOD.